Why We Don’t Pray: 5 Reasons Christians Struggle with Prayer

We know we need to pray. We also know the Scripture commands us to “pray without ceasing” (1 Thess. 5:17). After all, the forces of evil will do everything in their power to stop God’s people from praying. Yet even with all that knowledge, we often find our prayer lives lacking. Why?

Perhaps the most common excuse is that we’re so busy. I can relate to this. The demands of life are ever-increasing without a single minute being added to the day. On top of the normal demands of a full-time job, kids must be taken to practice, yards must be mowed, and someone still has to figure out what’s causing that strange smell in the minivan. On top of all this, any ‘spare’ moment I can find is spent trying to write or other activities. While your situation might look different than mine, chances are you are extremely busy too. But is that the real reason we don’t pray enough? No.

A Deeper Issue

While it’s true that we are very busy, that’s simply the surface excuse. The problem is much deeper. Our continual lack of prayer indicates something in our hearts. Maybe it’s pride telling us that we’ve “got this” on our own. It could be unbelief whispering that prayer is a waste of time when there are so many more “practical” things to do. Of course, most of us would never say these things out loud, but our actions reveal what our hearts truly believe.

These deeper heart issues show up in many ways:

• Perhaps we don’t pray for our spouse because we think we’ve got the whole marriage thing figured out.
• Perhaps we don’t pray for our kids because we subconsciously believe our parenting is enough.
• Perhaps we don’t pray for our church family because we’re unaware of the spiritual battles they face.
• Perhaps we don’t pray for our leaders because we’ve lost confidence in prayer.
• Perhaps we don’t pray for holiness because, compared to others, we feel we’re doing okay.
• Perhaps we don’t pray in crisis because we think we can fix it ourselves.
• Perhaps we don’t pray for lost loved ones because we’ve grown doubtful of the gospel’s power.

The main problem isn’t that we are too busy (although we probably are); we are too self-sufficient, prideful, or unbelieving to pray. Sometimes, God pulls back the curtain and gives us a glimpse into how needy we are.

Desert Wanderers

I don’t like to think I’m weak, but the reality is I’m a needy wanderer walking barefoot in a sun-scorched desert. My pride might tell me I’m okay, but every step in the blistering sand sears my feet and elevates my body temperature. The great Accuser reminds me of past sin that dries up my mouth, causing my tongue to stick to the roof of my mouth. Every failure is another bead of sweat that gathers on my drenched forehead, reminding me that my body is slowly withering in dehydration.

At last, I see a fountain of water ahead and desperately hobble to it, only to discover the mirage of my self-sufficiency. By my own fading strength, I’m crawling through life on the verge of death, longing for a drink.

Only when I see the truth about my condition will I make time to pray. With a dry mouth and sandy hands, I’ll adjust my schedule to drink deeply of the water of life. Jesus said, “If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink” (John 7:37). We are all thirsty, and we don’t always realize it. Rather than see ourselves as desert wanderers, we like to imagine our life as a well-equipped day at the beach. But when we see our inabilities, insufficiencies, and unholiness, we’ll fall down before our Maker in humble desperation.

Do we cry out with the psalmist, “O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water” (Psalm 63:1)?

If someone recorded your life for a week and then showed it to a group of strangers, what would they guess is the “good portion” in your life? What would they conclude is the one thing you must get done every day? Folding the laundry? Cleaning the house? Catching up on e-mails? Posting to Facebook? Mowing the lawn? Watching the game? I know you have things to do. I have plenty to do myself. But out of all the concerns in our lives, can we honestly say and show that sitting at the feet of Jesus is the one thing that is necessary?

My fellow desert wanderer, let us drink deeply today through prayer and God’s Word that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Given our state of absolute need and desperation—and the mighty abundance of grace and mercy available in Christ—it’s foolish not to pray. Let us not wither in spiritual dehydration when the fountain of living water and the strength of grace are only a prayer away.

Further Reading: Explore more articles in the Discipline and Power of Prayer series at Servants of Grace.