Houston, we have a problem. Ours is a world consumed with sex, in particular, matters of sexuality far from the manner in which God desires for such things to take place. This all consuming passion is not just taking place in secular society. Whether parents realize it or whether they care to admit it, even within our churches and the supposed safe environs of church youth groups, kids are obsessed with, confused about, and participating in sexually related activities that are not God-honoring. This self-centered approach is damaging to them as young people, damaging to society as a whole, and it does nothing to lead to godly marriages. The dating model is absolutely flawed. Eric and Leslie Ludy address this important issue in their excellent book titled Teaching True Love to a Sex at 13 Generation.
If the title of the book startles you, it should. The statistics the Ludy’s share are shocking. Kids, even kids in our churches, are walking a razor thin wire regarding matters of sex with many completely giving in to all manner of temptation. Those who toe the line, while maintaining their “technical virginity”, are nevertheless giving away a little piece of themselves each time they move from relationship to relationship.
In this book, Eric and Leslie Ludy share sound biblical advice to parents who have a desire to train up their children in a way that will yield great dividends down the road. I am big fan of the ministry of Eric and Leslie Ludy as their approach rejects the modern dating model with its “follow your heart” mentality in favor or urging parents to be parents in the life of their children. I also appreciated the urging of youth to allow God, the author of love, to write their love story. This is hard stuff, especially in an age where selfishness in relationships is the norm and when fitting into the world’s mold is such a pervasive allure in the lives of young people.
What makes Teaching True Love such a powerful tool for parents is the practical nature by which the Ludy’s approach this subject matter. They do not just share a bunch of relevant and helpful stories (which they do) nor do they spout off a bunch of Bible verses (which they do). What makes this book so helpful is the stories demonstrate that teaching your children the ways of God when it comes to relationships is doable and necessary. Furthermore, by rooting their discussion in God’s way, the mess that is the world’s way becomes ever more visible.
As a parent of a 13-year-old, I am keenly aware of the sexual morass that is all around us. I am aware of what takes place in schools and when kids get together. For that matter, I was a teenager once and the pressures of life to conform to the world’s standards were quite high 30 years ago and those intense pressures have only increased over the years. The Ludy’s do an excellent job of encouraging parents to be godly parents, to take up the mantle of responsibility in teaching their children God’s ways when it comes to sex, relationships, and marriage.
They provide wonderfully practical tools in each chapter to implement the concepts they discuss. The various challenges they present are followed by an answer and an action plan consisting of two or three recommendations for a variety of situations. Helping your son or daughter understand the importance of purity is a challenge in our day and age. With that said, it is absolutely vital to teach our sons and daughters to focus on God first and foremost and to live a life of purity not just for themselves or because the rules say that is the godly thing to do. As the Ludy’s stress over and over in this book, we should be training out sons and daughters to stay pure for the future husband or wife God has for them and to rest in the sovereignty of God in this area of their life.
Sorry, folks. The Russian roulette that is the modern dating model is not the answer for finding a mate. The trial and error method, while it has some measure of success, is not what can be labeled as a biblical approach to relationships or to finding our way to the marriage altar. The pattern we find in Scripture and the message driven home by the Ludy’s in this book is the need for parents to teach, for kids to be pure, and for the constant focus to be on God. Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things (including your future spouse) will be added to you. I am thankful for the Ludy’s writing this book and I highly recommend it to all parents to not just read themselves, but to also read with their children, starting at an age that is appropriate for their child. If you are the parent of an older child, the time is now to implement the principles presented in this book. While the truths noted in this book may seem old-fashioned, that is simply because the world has gone so far off course, namely the course of godly relationship building provided in God’s Word.
This book is available for purchase from Thomas Nelson by clicking here.