Pornography is a major problem in the 21st century. It’s certainly not a new problem, but it is definitely a problem that has intensified with the rise of the internet and smart phones. Technology has essentially poured gasoline on the fire of our lust.
The statistics about pornography consumption and production are alarming. In my role as a regular pastor, I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised at the number of men who talk to me about their struggle with pornography … but I am surprised.
Usually, the men who come talk to me have been caught. Many times they have been pressured to go talk to their pastor. Sometimes they have been threatened. Some of them are just tired of battling this sin. Almost all of these men are embarrassed. At times I suspect these men are genuinely sorry, but other times I suspect they’re just sorry they got caught.
Regular pastors will have to counsel men who struggle with porn addiction. Here is a summary of my counsel.
- Spiritual Advice. Most basically, the porn addict must replace his lust for pornography with a greater love for God and his glory. Porn addicts must see their sin the way God sees it. They must repent, and they must believe the gospel.
- Devotional Advice. The old adage is true: sin will keep you from God’s Word, or God’s Word will keep you from sin. There is no substitute for regular Bible reading, journaling, meditation, and memorization. Set your mind on things above.
- Theological Advice. Pornography is a matter of worship. Worship is rooted in theology. Theology is a thinking man’s game. I suggest a steady diet of theological reading that can expose sin as sin while also highlighting the glory of God.
- Practical Advice. Anyone struggling with porn addiction must use common sense. Do whatever it takes to limit opportunities for failure. Be open with passwords and screen placement. Use programs like Covenant Eyes. Delete social media.
- Consequential Advice. Proverbs gives honest warnings to the adulterer, all of which apply to the porn addict. If you want “real world” stories, just ask your pastor to describe stories of marriages shipwrecked by unchecked porn addiction.
- Social Advice. The porn addict doesn’t have to tell everyone all of their deep-dark secrets. But they need to talk to someone. Sin tends to grow in darkness and secrecy. Being transparent and open will help you think clearly about the folly of your sin.
- Continual Advice. Get ready for a fight. Taking every thought captive is not easy. You must die to self daily. You must put on the armor of God. You must actively put sin to death. You must beat back your body. You must expect a difficult fight.
Landon Coleman serves as the teaching pastor of Immanuel Baptist Church in Odessa, Texas, where he lives with his wife Brooke. They have four children, Emma, Noelle, Amelia, and Clayton. Landon is a graduate of West Texas A&M University (BBA), and a two-time graduate of The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary (MDiv and PhD). He is the author of Pastor to Pastor: Practical Advice for Regular Pastors and Pray Better: Learning to Pray Biblically, both of which were published by Rainer Publishing. Landon has pastored churches in Kentucky and Oklahoma, and he has taught for Oklahoma Baptist University and BH Carroll Theological Institute.
