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Handling Disagreement Biblically in the Local Church
Show Summary: How should Christians handle disagreement within the local church? In this episode of Contending for the Word Q&A, Dave Jenkins teaches from Ephesians 4:1–3 and James 1:19 to show how believers can pursue humility, listen carefully, speak the truth in love, and maintain gospel-rooted unity. Biblical reconciliation is not optional—it’s essential for the health and witness of the church.
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Episode Notes
- Posture matters: Walk in humility, gentleness, patience, and love (Ephesians 4:1–3).
- Slow the pace: Be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger (James 1:19).
- Speak truth with love: Avoid gossip, sarcasm, and exaggeration; pursue clarity and restoration (Ephesians 4:15).
- Pursue unity without compromise: Seek peace as far as it depends on you, without surrendering biblical truth (Romans 12:18).
- Gospel witness: When believers disagree biblically, Christ is honored and the gospel shines.
Key Scriptures
- Ephesians 4:1–3
- James 1:19
- Ephesians 4:15
- Romans 12:18
Episode Highlights
- Why most disagreements escalate: pride, assumptions, and self-protection.
- How humility lowers the temperature and opens the door to reconciliation.
- Why listening well is an act of love that prevents unnecessary conflict.
- How to address doctrinal vs. personal vs. preference disagreements biblically.
- What unity is—and what unity is not—according to Scripture.
Full Article
Question: How should Christians handle disagreement within the local church?
Christians are redeemed, forgiven, and indwelt by the Holy Spirit, but we are still sinners—growing and changing to become more like Christ. That means disagreements are going to happen. The question is not if they will arise, but how we are going to respond when they do.
Scripture gives us a beautifully balanced, practical, Christ-exalting approach. In Ephesians 4:1–3, Paul calls believers to walk in a manner worthy of their calling—“with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” This passage gives us the posture for handling disagreements.
And in James 1:19 we read, “Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” Taken together, these verses lay a foundation for navigating disagreements in a way that pleases Christ.
Christians handle disagreement biblically by pursuing humility, listening carefully, speaking the truth in love, and prioritizing unity by submitting to the Word of God as the final authority for faith and practice.
1. Approach Every Disagreement with Humility and Patience
Most disagreements escalate not because of the issue itself, but because of pride. We assume the worst, protect our reputation, and demand our own way—and unity suffers. Instead, a humble heart says, “Let me listen first. Help me understand. I could be wrong. Let’s seek Christ together.” Humility lowers the temperature and opens the door to reconciliation.
2. Listen Carefully Before Responding
James 1:19 gives us a rhythm that heals relationships: quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger. Listening communicates love, respect, patience, and a willingness to understand. Godly listening slows the pace, clarifies confusion, and prevents unnecessary conflict. Listening well is an act of love.
3. Speak the Truth in Love with Gentleness and Clarity
Ephesians 4:15 calls believers to speak the truth in love. Truth without love wounds, and love without truth deceives—but truth spoken in love restores. This means we avoid gossip, attacking motives, sarcasm, accusation, and exaggeration. We address issues directly and graciously, staying anchored in God’s Word rather than our emotions.
If the disagreement is doctrinal, we open the Word of God together. If the disagreement is personal, we speak kindly and honestly. If it is a matter of wisdom or preference, we show charity and flexibility. Not every disagreement is a hill to die on. Love guides us to handle each issue proportionally, biblically, and graciously.
4. Prioritize Unity Without Sacrificing Truth
Christians are called to unity, but not unity at any cost. True unity is unity around the gospel, the authority of God’s Word, and the mission of Christ. Romans 12:18 says, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” As far as it depends on you—meaning you do all you can, but not by compromising the truth of Scripture.
Unity means forgiveness, patience, bearing with weakness, preferring others above ourselves, giving the benefit of the doubt, and overlooking personal offenses. But unity does not mean ignoring sin, tolerating false doctrine, burying conflict without addressing it, or calling evil good. We strive for peace—but peace grounded in God’s Word.
So how should Christians handle disagreement within the church? With humility instead of pride, listening instead of reacting, truth spoken in love instead of anger or avoidance, and unity anchored in God’s Word instead of unity built on compromise. The world tears itself apart in conflict, but Christians show the world something different—the reconciling power of the gospel.
If you are in a conflict with another believer today, take the first step. Reach out. Listen. Forgive. Speak the truth in love and pursue reconciliation. Christ reconciled us to God through His cross—surely we can pursue reconciliation with one another.
Takeaways / Reflection Questions
- Am I approaching this disagreement with humility, gentleness, and patience?
- Have I listened carefully, or am I reacting quickly?
- Am I speaking the truth in love—or speaking truth without love, or love without truth?
- Is this disagreement doctrinal, personal, or preference—and am I responding accordingly?
- What is one concrete step I can take today toward reconciliation?
Related Resources
Call to Action
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Dave Jenkins is happily married to his wife, Sarah. He is a writer, editor, and speaker living in beautiful Southern Oregon. Dave is a lover of Christ, His people, the Church, and sound theology. He serves as the Executive Director of Servants of Grace Ministries, the Executive Editor of Theology for Life Magazine, the Host and Producer of Equipping You in Grace Podcast, and is a contributor to and producer of Contending for the Word. He is the author of The Word Explored: The Problem of Biblical Illiteracy and What To Do About It (House to House, 2021), The Word Matters: Defending Biblical Authority Against the Spirit of the Age (G3 Press, 2022), and Contentment: The Journey of a Lifetime (Theology for Life, 2024). You can find him on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Youtube, or read his newsletter. Dave loves to spend time with his wife, going to movies, eating at a nice restaurant, or going out for a round of golf with a good friend. He is also a voracious reader, in particular of Reformed theology, and the Puritans. You will often find him when he’s not busy with ministry reading a pile of the latest books from a wide variety of Christian publishers. Dave received his M.A.R. and M.Div through Liberty Baptist Theological Seminary.
