Love Begins With God, Not With Us

Modern culture tends to begin with human desire. Scripture begins with divine initiative.

“In this is love,” the Apostle John writes, “not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son
to be the propitiation for our sins” (1 John 4:10).

Biblical love does not originate in romance, compatibility, or emotional intensity. It originates in the holy,
covenant-keeping character of God. Love, in its truest sense, is sacrificial. It is steadfast. It is rooted in
truth. It is willing to suffer for the good of another.

This understanding immediately challenges the thin definitions of love that dominate our culture. If love is
merely a feeling, it will fade when feelings change. If love is merely affirmation, it will collapse when truth
confronts sin. But if love is rooted in the character of God, it will endure because He endures.

Christian love is not sentimental softness. It is cross-shaped faithfulness.

Marriage as Covenant, Not Contract

Because we misunderstand love, we often misunderstand marriage.

The modern imagination treats marriage as a contract between two autonomous individuals. It is seen as a
partnership designed primarily for personal fulfillment. If expectations are unmet, the arrangement may be
revised or dissolved.

Scripture presents something entirely different.

In Genesis 2:24, we are told that a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the
two shall become one flesh. This language is not transactional. It is covenantal. It describes permanence,
unity, and divine intention.

Jesus reaffirms this in Matthew 19:6, declaring that what God has joined together, man must not separate.
Marriage is not ultimately constructed by human preference; it is established by divine design.

Covenant language changes how we think. A contract protects personal rights. A covenant binds persons together
in faithful promise. A contract asks, “Are my needs being met?” A covenant asks, “How can I remain faithful?”

The difference is profound.

A Living Picture of Christ and the Church

The Apostle Paul draws the curtain back even further in Ephesians 5. After quoting Genesis 2:24, he writes,
“This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”

Marriage was never meant to be self-contained. It was designed to point beyond itself.

When a husband loves sacrificially, he reflects Christ’s costly love for His bride. When a wife responds in
trusting partnership, she reflects the church’s joyful submission to her Lord. When both forgive, bear burdens,
and endure hardship together, they portray the reconciling grace of the gospel.

This does not mean Christian marriages are perfect. They are not. But they are meant to be repentant. They are
arenas in which pride is confronted, selfishness is exposed, and grace is applied repeatedly.

Marriage does not create holiness. It reveals the need for it.

The Christian Life Shapes the Marriage

It is impossible to isolate marriage from discipleship. The health of a marriage is inseparable from the
spiritual maturity of the husband and wife.

A man who neglects Scripture and prayer will struggle to lead with humility and clarity. A woman who drifts from
communion with Christ will find it difficult to extend patience and endurance. The fruit of the Spirit does not
magically appear in moments of conflict; it grows through daily fellowship with the Lord.

In this sense, marriage becomes a mirror. It reflects what is already forming in the heart.

The Christian life calls believers to deny themselves, take up their cross, and follow Christ. That command does
not pause at the wedding altar. In fact, it intensifies there. The daily call to die to selfish ambition, to
speak gently, to pursue reconciliation, and to remain faithful when emotions fluctuate is nothing less than
applied discipleship.

A gospel-shaped marriage is not sustained by chemistry. It is sustained by grace.

Singleness and the Sufficiency of Christ

A biblical vision of love and marriage must also guard against idolatry. Marriage is a gift, but it is not
ultimate.

In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul reminds believers that singleness is also a gift from the Lord. It is not a deficiency
to be corrected but a season or calling that can uniquely serve the kingdom. The church does harm when it treats
marriage as the pinnacle of Christian maturity.

Our identity is not anchored in marital status. It is anchored in union with Christ.

This truth protects the married from idolizing their spouse and protects the single from feeling spiritually
incomplete. Christ is sufficient. Whether married or single, every believer is called to faithful obedience and
joyful dependence upon Him.

A Greater Marriage Yet to Come

Even the strongest Christian marriage is temporary. Jesus teaches in Matthew 22:30 that earthly marriage will not
continue in the resurrection. That statement does not diminish marriage; it dignifies it. Earthly marriage is a
signpost.

Revelation 19 speaks of the marriage supper of the Lamb, when Christ is united with His redeemed people in
eternal joy. Every faithful Christian marriage whispers of that coming day.

The ultimate hope of marriage is not merely longevity. It is sanctification. It is growing in Christ together
until the day when faith becomes sight.

In a culture intoxicated with romantic fantasy and individual autonomy, the church must hold fast to a richer
vision. Love is holy. Marriage is covenantal. The Christian life is cross-shaped. And all three find their
meaning in Christ.

When we recover that vision, we do not merely defend marriage. We display the gospel.