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Biblical Headship: Christlike Leadership in Marriage
Contending for the Word Q&A with Dave JenkinsShow Summary
Question: What is biblical headship and what is it not?Biblical headship is one of the most misunderstood teachings in Scripture. Too often, our culture defines headship as dominance, control, or inequality. But the Word of God paints a very different picture—one rooted in Christlike humility, sacrifice, and love. In this episode, Dave Jenkins explains biblical headship from Ephesians 5:23–25, showing that headship is defined by Christ, not culture, stereotypes, or personal preference.Listen to the Episode
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Key Scriptures
- Ephesians 5:23
- Ephesians 5:25
Episode Highlights
- Headship is sacrificial leadership—modeled after Christ who gave Himself up for the church.
- Headship is spiritual responsibility—a call to lead in prayer, repentance, holiness, and the Word.
- Headship is gentle guidance—marked by patience, listening, kindness, and compassion.
- Headship is not dominance, abuse, manipulation, harshness, emotional withdrawal, passivity, or control.
- Christ’s leadership is the model—not cultural stereotypes or personality-driven power.
Full Article
Biblical headship must be defined the way the Bible defines it. According to Scripture, headship is not about power or superiority. It is about Christlike leadership—marked by sacrificial love, humble service, and faithful responsibility.In Ephesians 5:23–25, Paul teaches that “the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church,” and then immediately commands husbands to “love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” That means headship is shaped by the cross. It is laying down comfort, serving with joy, and leading in a way that seeks a wife’s spiritual good and flourishing in Christ. Headship includes spiritual responsibility. Husbands are called to lead in prayer, repentance, and holiness—not because they are spiritually superior, but because God holds them accountable to shepherd their home with humility and integrity.Headship is also gentle guidance. Christ leads His church with patience and compassion. Biblical headship listens, serves, and guides with kindness. It does not bulldoze. It does not manipulate. It does not belittle. What headship is not must be stated plainly: it is not authoritarian control. It is not harshness. It is not emotional withdrawal. It is not selfish decision-making. It is not superiority. It is not passivity. Dominance is not headship. Abuse is not headship. Passivity is not headship. Control is not headship. Christ is the pattern. When we let Scripture define headship, we see that it is leadership modeled after Jesus—humble, sacrificial, holy, and loving. This calling is not a license to demand service, but a responsibility to provide it.Takeaways & Reflection Questions
- In what ways does Scripture redefine headship compared to cultural stereotypes?
- How can husbands grow in sacrificial love and spiritual responsibility this week?
- Where do you need to repent of passivity, harshness, or self-centered leadership?
- How can wives and the church pray for men to reflect Christlike leadership in the home?
Call to Action
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Dave Jenkins is happily married to his wife, Sarah. He is a writer, editor, and speaker living in beautiful Southern Oregon. Dave is a lover of Christ, His people, the Church, and sound theology. He serves as the Executive Director of Servants of Grace Ministries, the Executive Editor of Theology for Life Magazine, the Host and Producer of Equipping You in Grace Podcast, and is a contributor to and producer of Contending for the Word. He is the author of The Word Explored: The Problem of Biblical Illiteracy and What To Do About It (House to House, 2021), The Word Matters: Defending Biblical Authority Against the Spirit of the Age (G3 Press, 2022), and Contentment: The Journey of a Lifetime (Theology for Life, 2024). You can find him on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Youtube, or read his newsletter. Dave loves to spend time with his wife, going to movies, eating at a nice restaurant, or going out for a round of golf with a good friend. He is also a voracious reader, in particular of Reformed theology, and the Puritans. You will often find him when he’s not busy with ministry reading a pile of the latest books from a wide variety of Christian publishers. Dave received his M.A.R. and M.Div through Liberty Baptist Theological Seminary.
