Category: Fathers

Send Him on His Way: Sons and Vocation

Hint: Yesterday’s article focused on daughters. Today’s focuses on sons. But that doesn’t mean you can’t take all this stuff here and apply it to your daughter. Everything below I’ve done with my two daughters as well. Hammers, saws, guitars, drums, stethoscopes, and Bibles are all things my son sneaks into his backpack to take to preschool. They are his go to pay items: I mean, besides Iron Man, Captain America, Spiderman, Tigger, and Pluto. And almost every day he tells me one of three things. I want to be at Grandpa and Grandma’s. I want to be at Disney World. Or I want to be…Handy Manny, a doctor, a guitar player, or a pastor. I guess this could go any number of ways. He could do a combo of doctor and handy man and be a surgeon. I’ve suggested that. He’s got a really steady hand, but he doesn’t like the idea of cutting into flesh. I’ve suggested a worship pastor. He’s still trying to wrap his brain around what that is. He is only three after all. No matter what he does, I’m going to be super proud of him. Why? Because he’s my son. You know what I mean. As I think about helping your son figure out his vocation — I can’t help but think that it doesn’t matter how young they are — they’re never too...

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When She Asks, “Daddy, How Do I Look?”

“Daddy, how do I look?” This is a common refrain of any little girl. She’ll say this after dressing up in her favorite princess dress, putting as many bows in her hair as possible, and all of the costume jewelry she can find. After having completed her adornment she’ll traipse up to you and sweetly but inquisitively ask this question. You’ll experience a whole cycle of princess dresses from Snow White to Elsa. Those early times of inquisition you’ll be delighted, attentive, affirming. “Oh my, what a beautiful princess!” You’ll hem and haw over her. You’ll fill that much needed tank of approval. She’ll squeal with delight and go back off to her room for another wardrobe change, just to play it all over again for you. Over time, over the years, the scenario begins to play out even more. But both of you will see it differently. It’s possible that she’ll notice you’ve become less enthusiastic, less attentive. You didn’t mean for it to be this way. You’re not any less affirming then you’ve always been. You’re simply distracted. You’ll probably be sitting at the kitchen table some morning, scarfing down a quick bowl of cereal and burning your throat as you chug down a hot cup of coffee. You’ll likely be thinking, “I need to get out this door and get to work. I’ve got a long day ahead.”...

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Father’s Day: Experiencing Healing from Our Heavenly Father for the Father Wound

Today is Father’s Day and I’ll be sitting in my dad’s apartment in Tacoma, Washington watching the US Open with him. After that we’ll enjoy some time talking about what we’ve been busy with and chat about the latest happenings in the sports world. I’m writing this post on the Friday before Father’s Day. Tomorrow morning I’ll be driving from my home in the greater Boise area to the Greater Seattle, Washington area. By the time this blog post appears online I’ll have made it Lord-willing safely to Seattle. As I’ve reflected on this coming Father’s Day, I’ve increasingly had a burden to write about Father’s Day, what it means to me and the father wound that many are experiencing and how to experience healing from our heavenly Father. Growing up I had an absent father. My father was always busy working hard but he was dedicated to his job and not to spending much, if any, time with his family. I was a child who experienced the “father wound”. This has been an area of ongoing healing and growth in my life. During my junior year in high school I sat in my bedroom praying and reading the Bible. The Lord convicted me that I held a grudge against my dad and needed to repent and forgive him now. The next day we took a walk and I...

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The Father Wound

Father’s Day on June 17, 2012 marked six and a half years since I’ve seen my father. The last time I saw my father was in his physical therapy office. That day I waited four hours to talk to my father and all I remember was that the conversation didn’t end well.  The sad thing about this meeting was around Father’s Day my junior year in 1999 my father and I were reconciled as the Holy Spirit convicted me of my sin while reading the Word of God the day before. The next day, after getting convicted of anger, bitterness and resentment, my father and I went on a walk and I told him that I forgave him for all the hurt and pain he had caused me. While I truthfully don’t give much thought about my father these days, this past Father’s Day was particular hard on me as I started thinking and then dwelling on memories I had of my father. Normally I enjoy watching golf tournaments after church on Sunday (and throughout the week) but I found it so hard to watch the US Open that my wife told me to turn off the TV and had to give me a hug. The reason this was hard is my father and I spent considerable time together playing and talking about golf. Before I left for church, I had...

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