We are in the midst of a great epidemic. It’s a contagion of such epic proportions, something like Covid pales in comparison. This disease is ravaging our nation, sparing no demographic. It doesn’t discriminate for every corner of America suffers from the affliction. 

And yet, few are talking about it. Major news outlets aren’t publishing any headlines; Congress isn’t holding any committee hearings; public health officials aren’t issuing any alerts or warnings. This isn’t to suggest the ramifications of the disease are being ignored for its symptoms receive plenty of attention. So much so in fact that the downstream tangential is now defined as the disease itself. This colossal failure in diagnosis is to our peril; such maltreatment ensures the perpetuation of the epidemic.

What is this great ailment? It’s fatherlessness—men abdicating their role as dad. Sadly, few are willing to acknowledge this reality, at least publicly. When a culture becomes unwilling or incapable of calling a spade a spade, particularly on something as important as a father’s role, the illogical fills the void: gun access causes mass shootings, not absent dads; ineffectual schools cause illiteracy, not absent dads; inopportune economics causes delinquent behavior, not absent dads.

The greatest threat to our children isn’t gun availability, underwhelming schools, or difficult economics (some of the worst homes for kids are in our most affluent neighborhoods). These realities aren’t the illness; although challenging, they don’t cause children to languish. The lazy and self-consumed dad does; the spineless and impotent dad does, the angry and tyrannical dad does; the emotionally and/or physically-absent dad does. Mothers, God bless them for their efforts, were never intended to raise children on their own. It isn’t their fault; it’s dad’s.

Yes, kids who thrive can and do come from homes where dad is disengaged. And yes, kids who struggle can and do come from homes where dad is engaged. And yes, there are other factors that play into kids not having the upbringing they need. And yes, there are dads who are willing but unable to fulfill their responsibilities due to no fault of their own. But, let’s exercise some intellectual honesty here. The correlation between fathers who fulfill their duties and children who are well adjusted and prepared for adulthood is simply irrefutable. To suggest otherwise is pure foolishness. The fact that I must even state the obvious shows how absurd the culture’s thinking has become for the research is clear. (I invite you to perform your own google search. The site fathers.com is an excellent starting point.)   

Maybe it’s fine that public officials aren’t talking about the disease itself. The true solution can’t be legislated anyhow. While pro-father and pro-family policy would help, there isn’t a single public health initiative or piece of legislation that will cause men to be men.

But Jesus can, and Jesus does. And for one very good reason. Unlike everyone else, He knows where the disease resides and what causes it.

And he [Jesus] said, “What comes out of a person is what defiles him. For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person” (Mark 7:20-23, ESV, bracket added).

The nefarious affections of the heart are what produce the conditions through which fatherlessness springs. And unlike everyone else, Jesus possesses the antidote. It’s Himself. “For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 6:23, ESV). The Lord, in an act of immeasurable mercy and grace, provided at Calvary the solution to this great sickness!

Take heed though. The remedy is only available to those who recognize their need for it. Jesus says, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick” (Luke 5:31, ESV). All are sick but not all understand that they are sick. Those who do will humble themselves and let the Great Physician heal them with a new heart. “And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh” (Ezekiel 36:26, ESV). They will become a new creation. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come” (2 Corinthians 5:17, ESV).

Sweet, tender mercies of restoration await those who surrender. The Lord will take the defiled heart of stone and transplant it with a tender heart of flesh—the kind that seeks to obey God and delight in Him. “Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart” (Psalms 37:3-4 ESV).

When dad begins delighting in Jesus, everything changes for he can’t help but begin delighting in his family. It’s theologically impossible to love Jesus and not love those around you. “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God” (1 John 4:7, ESV). In fact, it’s the first fruit listed in the fruit of the spirit. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law” (Galatians 5:22-23, ESV). A new heart will produce, though imperfectly, new affections. New affections will produce, though imperfectly, new patterns and rhythms—the type that arrest the vicious cycle of destructive behavior and allow the hard work of reconciliation to begin.    

The tenacity of the disease hit closer to home earlier this summer. Good friends of ours welcomed into their family two young girls for a couple of months. Ages six and eight, the kids are the wife’s great nieces. The person caring for them, their uncle, needed a bit of a break. He is their caretaker for now as the girls’ father is in prison serving a three-year sentence. Their mom, who has a history of drug addiction, isn’t currently involved with the family.   

I don’t know much about the environment in which the children are being raised. Given how quickly the girls soaked up even the smallest tokens of warmth, I can only presume it was less than ideal. They are very sweet young ladies. How sorrowful that they too are now victims of this horrific epidemic. Add their names to what is becoming a very long list of sufferers.

To be clear, all fathers fail. Fatherlessness isn’t an either/or proposition. It’s a continuum—a both/and. Good fathers are not always good. It’s a fact of life. As such, all dads (and everyone else for that matter) are in need of the Great Physician’s restorative power. Jesus is the antidote to any and all brokenness.

You may know of a dad who is sick but doesn’t know it. Possibly a sufferer himself, will you take a step of faith and give him this article? Will you step alongside him and show that there is hope? Regardless of life stage, it’s never too late. “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope” (Jeremiah 29:11, ESV).

Through Christ, everything is redeemable. Everything. Proclaim the name of Jesus and let Him renew and restore.