There can be no denying (unless you want to play the role of the ostrich with their head in the sand) that our children are being exposed at earlier and earlier ages to all manner of sexual perversion. The statistics are staggering on the sheer amount of young people viewing sexually explicit material as well as engaging in sex and sexual related activities. What is a parent to do? What are ways parents can get involved in the battle for the hearts and minds of their children? What do we do when our child asks us about some element of sexually intimate information they heard in the back of the bus on the way home from elementary school? Jonathan McKee, in his truly outstanding book More Than Just the Talk: Becoming Your Kids’ Go-To Person about Sex, equips parents with information, practical application, and a needed kick in the pants.
McKee shares some sobering stats in the first part of this book that might take many parents by surprise, especially those parents who actually believe their precious children would never be exposed to or involve themselves with sex or sexually explicit material. The facts prove otherwise which should spur parents into action. The problem is most parents have not been properly equipped to deal with these issues. As McKee notes, if sex is spoken about in the home, it is either pictured as something dirty or one of the parents does a 5 minute dance around the issue known as “the talk”. Neither approach is effective or useful as sex was created by God to be enjoyed in the confines of covenant marriage and a single talk is wholly insufficient.
For the many parents out there, including myself, who are struggling with or desire to understand how to talk with your kids about God’s design for sex, McKee’s book is an excellent starting place. The information and discussion points throughout this book are very pointed and rightfully so. As the parent of a 13 year old daughter, I can attest to the fact that our kids are being exposed to all sorts of sexual perversion and are far more attuned and knowledgeable about matters of sexuality than we would like to admit.
McKee’s consistent urging of parent’s to have dialogue verses monologue with their children about sex is highly important. If you do not have that dialogue, a continual dialogue mind you with your children about sex, the information flow will not stop. They will simply do a Google search and be presented with the false lies of the world when it comes to matters of sex and sexuality. McKee is insistent throughout this book on the need for parents to be parents. Step up to the plate and engage your children in conversation in an age appropriate manner. Stop reacting and teach the truth of God’s Word and His design for sex to your children whenever the opportunity arises and as McKee shares in this book, the opportunities for such conversation can take place every single day. Teaching moments abound and we must take advantage of them.
What I found most engaging about this book apart from the honest and frank discussion points was the practical nature of McKee’s approach and guidance to the reader. He speaks from not just his experience working with children, but also as a parent who has gone through the very issues he is addressing. I appreciated his recommendation for parents to institute guidelines regarding access to electronic devices. This is an issue my wife and I are dealing with in our own home, namely the far too easy access children have to sexually explicit material. Our kids are just a couple of clicks away from hard-core pornographic material. Parents who think otherwise are simply fooling themselves and doing their children harm by ignoring these stark facts. McKee devotes an entire chapter to the problem of pornography and if parents read nothing else in this book, I recommend they pay special attention to what McKee shares in that portion.
Additionally, the chapter titled “Tough Questions” is a handy reference for those questions your child will (or should if you implement the strategies provided in this book) fire your direction. Questions your child may ask ranging from “How Far Can I Go” to “What About Masturbation” are answered with both grace and directness by McKee in a way that provides parents a way to engage in that must have dialogue with their children. If you do not have that dialogue, someone will and they will not be sharing the truth of God’s Word.
I urge all parents to take the time to read this book and more importantly, to take what McKee says to heart. The recommendations he provides are biblical, practical, timely, and a must for parents to implement immediately if they are not already. The enemy would love nothing more than to warp our children’s perspective on sex and as godly parents, we need to do battle against the garbage the world is presenting all around us. McKee’s book will help you to just that, namely to share God’s design for sex with your children, something we should be doing early and often so they will embrace what God has for them in this area of their life in the proper time with the proper person God has for them in the covenant of marriage.
This book is available for purchase from Bethany House by clicking here.
I received this book for free from Bethany House for this review. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”