Mercy and Goodness All Our Days

One thing I struggled with during my pornography enslavement was doubting if God still loved me. I could comprehend how God forgave my sins when I was younger, but what about when I deliberately rebelled against Him? What about when I consistently fall to pornography — does His love for me change?

One lie I believed was that God’s love is conditional— that I could become unlovable. Here is the truth of the gospel—God responds to our willful disregard for His love with grace, and mercy. He initiated the relationship, and He promised to love us. He forgives our unappreciativeness. He softens our calloused hearts and calms our anxious doubts. He reminds us that He loved us before the Milky Way was spoken into being. He died for us when we were sinners, the farthest away from Him that we could ever be. For love, the Father sent the Son. For love, the Son let Himself be nailed to a cross. For love, the Holy Spirit changed your heart. For love, God empowers you to live a life free from sin, a life to love and serve God and others.

God knew the sins you would commit before you became a believer, and He knew the ones you would commit after you became a believer. He knew all the sin we would ever commit and He still chose you. Jesus knew exactly how you would take Him for granted, and He still joyfully went to the cross. He knew and knows about your porn enslavement, and His love has not changed. He isn’t surprised by the mess you’ve made. God doesn’t have buyer’s remorse. He’s not looking for a receipt to send you back. He doesn’t regret dying for you. He knew exactly what His relationship with you would entail, and He still chose to adopt you.

Christian, Jesus has truly forgiven you. “We have now been justified by his blood”[1]; we will “be saved through him from wrath.”[2] All that wrath you deserve was poured out on Jesus at the cross. There is no wrath for you, no future punishment. Jesus “rescues us from the coming wrath”[3] that will be poured out on all unbelieving sinners.

There is no wrath for God’s children. We have confidence, therefore, in God’s future love because there is only love for us in the future. Remember the logic of Romans. If He died for us as sinners, how much more can we be confident of His love as His children?

This means that we are not demoted when we are disobedient. We are not unadopted even if we neglect our inheritance. This was one of Jesus’ main points in the parable of the Prodigal Son when the son finally came to his senses and decided to return home. He was content to be a servant, not even a son. He kept practicing the speech he would tell his father. He just wanted to be back home. I remember thinking this same thing when I hit rock bottom. I knew that even if God forgave me, there was no way that I was still a son. I would have to earn back my seat at the table. Over time, with lots of hard work, maybe, just maybe, I could be a son again.

But what happened in the parable? As the son was coming home, the father ran to meet him. He embraced his son and didn’t even let him finish his speech. He announced to his staff and family that his son had come home, and he threw a big party to celebrate. He didn’t say that his son, who would now serve as a servant, had come home. He simply stated the truth: his son had returned. The prodigal was a son in his father’s house, and he remained a son even after blowing his inheritance on all kinds of sin and debauchery. He continued to be a son when he came home. Sin didn’t change his status as a son. Though he tried to disinherit himself, his identity was based on his father’s love. He was and would be a son forever.

The same is true for us. Sin doesn’t demote you or cancel your adoption. God chose you and loves you forever. Though you wander off, He will always accept you when you come home. If you have repented and believe in Jesus, you are and will be a child forever.

Maybe you have struggled to return to God because you think He won’t forgive you, or that He has to punish you first. This isn’t true. If you still fear punishment as a Christian, let God’s Word pour into your heart. “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.”[4] God’s love for you assures you that you don’t need to be afraid of the future. You don’t need to doubt God’s love. You can be confident that you belong to Him and will be with Him forever.

In fact, “the Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ.”[5] God Himself reminds you that no matter your level of sin, you are still a son or daughter. When you don’t feel loved, He testifies that you are.

God’s children are not condemned or punished because all past, present, and future sins are forgiven. There is only grace. This is not a conditional statement of acceptance but a future promise that God will fulfill.

God’s love doesn’t fade even when your love has. He loved you before the world began. He lovingly chose you, knowing all of your sins. He knew the future, and He still chose you. Your sin hasn’t eroded His love away. Your sin hasn’t chased Him off. No, His love is perfect love. An everlasting love. A love for yesterday, today, and tomorrow. There has never been and will never be a moment He does not love you. In fact, He will keep loving you ten billion years from now and forever.