Posted On October 23, 2018

Marry Wisely, Marry Well: A Blueprint for Personal Preparation by Dr. Ernie Baker

by | Oct 23, 2018 | Christian Living, Featured

Biblical Building Blocks

As a single person and a fan of HGTV, I thoroughly enjoyed Marry Wisely, Marry Well: A Blueprint for Personal Preparation. Dr. Ernie Baker—Professor of Biblical Counseling, certified conciliator with Peacemaker Ministries, pastor, husband, and father—has created a valuable tool for those desiring to be married. He uses the analogy of house-building to illustrate the process of building a future marriage. He states, “I want to help you build your future marriage house as wisely as possible” (p.134). Baker’s book does just that.

The subtitle, A Blueprint for Personal Preparation, suggests that there is a design plan to prepare yourself for marriage—before you even enter into a relationship. Dr. Baker’s book is a practical guidebook outlining the biblical building blocks from passages such as Proverbs 24:3-4,27 and Psalm 127:1, which teach that the Lord builds the house/marriage by getting one prepared and giving wisdom, understanding, and knowledge.

In the introduction, Baker states that he has written Marry Wisely, Marry Well “to bring hope to those who are not married—in high school, college and beyond—a hope that you don’t have to experience a failed marriage—hope that the Lord, through Scripture, will give you wisdom to choose a spouse” (p. 7). Although Baker has not been single since he married the wife of his youth decades ago, he has earned credibility by teaching their six children how to prepare for marriage and doing premarital counseling as a professor at The Master’s University.

The Construction of the Book

Baker divides the book into three parts. In Part One he pours the concrete foundation in the first four chapters, emphasizing the importance of building on the biblical wisdom of Jesus Christ, learning how to handle one’s attractions wisely, and understanding God’s design for marriage. These are essential concepts to grasp in order to build a strong marriage relationship. Through his own life experiences, Baker has concluded that “good marriages don’t just happen, they are made to happen” (p. 37).

In Part Two Baker teaches the reader how to build the first floor properly in chapters five through nine. He covers much ground as he explores five key questions for the reader to contemplate:

  1. How should I use my single years?
  2. What relationship skills do I need to develop?
  3. How do I know when I am ready to be married?
  4. How will I know God’s will?
  5. What method should I choose to find a spouse? (p. 69).

These questions provide the reader with solid biblical principles to “strengthen the walls of your future marriage relationship” (p. 156). As a seasoned counselor, Baker accentuates the significance of having the right focus in your single years—making sure you are who the Lord wants you to be—before finding a spouse. He wants the reader to understand that good relationship skills and character traits are necessary to build strong relationships (p. 88).

Part Three of the book is the culmination of the marriage preparation project. Baker continues the analogy of house-building, describing the roof as the crown of the whole building project. He says, “According to Scriptural thinking, the roof that crowns your marriage house will be the glory of God” (p. 153). A marriage that glorifies God is the result of building wisely.

Practical Application

Marry Wisely, Marry Well is a highly practical resource that teaches you how to start building your future marriage even before you begin a relationship, culminating in a marriage that glorifies God. Baker’s expertise as a biblical counselor shines through as he includes real-world case studies, illustrative diagrams, self-reflective questions, and strategic questions for the reader, to ask about a prospective spouse. It also includes two appendices that comprise a study of Psalm 18 and a Marriage Preparation Project.

This book is a brilliant resource for pastors and counselors to help guide those desiring to be married and in need of godly understanding of how to go about it. It is also structured in a way to be used for self-study or group study. Readers would do well to spend time working through all the principles and answering all the questions to get the most out of this book.

Highly Recommended

Marry Wisely, Marry Well: A Blueprint for Personal Preparation provides exactly what its subtitle indicates—the design plan for marriage. It provides a magnificent biblical framework for marriage and I would even recommend it to those who are already married or are considering remarriage, who may have missed God’s design plan for marriage and desire to have a marriage that glorifies God.

Related Posts

Prayer: A Source of Living Water and Strength for Desert Wanderers

Prayer: A Source of Living Water and Strength for Desert Wanderers

We know we need to pray. We also know the Scripture commands us to "pray without ceasing" (1 Thess. 5:17). After all, the forces of evil will do everything in their power to stop God’s people from praying. Even though we know all that (or should know that), we often...

Testing and Temptation in Scripture

Testing and Temptation in Scripture

On today’s episode, a listener writes in and asks Dave, “Is temptation sin?” What You'll Hear on this Episode Testing and Temptation in the Old and New Testament Subscribing, sharing, and your feedback You can subscribe to the Servants of Grace Podcast via iTunes,...

Christ’s Intercession on Our Behalf

Christ’s Intercession on Our Behalf

On today’s For Life and Godliness, Drew considers the intercession of Christ and its importance of it in the Christian life. Subscribing, sharing, and your feedback You can subscribe to Life and Godliness via iTunes, Google Play, or Spotify. If you like what you’ve...

Christian Friendship and Doing Life With One Another

Christian Friendship and Doing Life With One Another

On today’s Equipping You in Grace show, Dave considers the nature and purpose of Christian friendship and why real Christian friends tell each other hard biblical truths, comfort one another in love with Scripture, and do life with one another through every stage of...

Churches Need Expository Preaching

Churches Need Expository Preaching

Churches need pastors committed to expository preaching. An expository sermon submits its shape, emphasis, and argument to the Biblical text being preached. The point of the passage is the point of the sermon. A commitment to expository preaching exposes our...

The Death of a Spouse — Part II

The Death of a Spouse — Part II

Psalms 13:2 (NIV), “How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?” How much longer? How much longer? Four hundred fifty-eight days later, not only has my hatred of death not diminished even...

0 Comments

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Share17
Tweet4
Email
Reddit
Share