⏱️ Estimated Reading Time: 4 min read
Husbands Loving Like Christ | Ephesians 5:25
Show Summary
What does it mean for a husband to love his wife the way Christ loves the church? In this episode of Contending for the Word Q&A, Dave Jenkins turns to Ephesians 5:25 to show that biblical love is not shaped by cultural confusion, but by the sacrificial, servant-hearted, and faithful love of Jesus Christ. You’ll learn four marks of Christlike love that strengthen marriages and put the gospel on display.Audio Player
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Key Scriptures
- Ephesians 5:25–27
- Mark 10:45
- John 13:1–17
- 1 Peter 3:7
- Colossians 3:19
Episode Highlights
- Christ defines a husband’s love: Husbands are commanded to love with the pattern and power of Christ, not cultural stereotypes.
- Four marks of Christlike love: Sacrificial love, humble service, spiritual leadership, and steadfast covenant faithfulness.
- Headship is posture, not privilege: Biblical leadership is expressed through serving, listening, and bearing burdens with humility.
- Marriage is discipleship: A husband’s calling includes pursuing his wife’s spiritual good and guarding the home from spiritual drift.
Full Article
The Question
What does it mean for a husband to love his wife the way Christ loves His church? This is not optional for Christian husbands. It is a command, and it is central to a healthy, God-honoring marriage.The Anchor Text: Ephesians 5:25
Scripture sets the standard with unmistakable clarity: “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” (Ephesians 5:25)That one verse establishes a pattern of love that is sacrificial, intentional, holy, enduring, and rooted in Christ’s covenant faithfulness.The Central Truth
A husband loves like Christ when he leads, sacrificially serves, humbly pursues his wife’s spiritual good, and remains faithful with steadfast covenant love.1) Christlike Love Is Sacrificial
Christ “gave himself up” for the church. He did not love from a distance—He laid down His life. For husbands, this means putting your wife’s good above your comfort: giving your time, energy, attention, and strength, and choosing self-denial over self-centeredness.- Serve her when it costs you.
- Initiate repentance when you are wrong.
- Choose patience and gentleness when you feel pressured.
2) Christlike Love Is Humble Service
Jesus came “not to be served, but to serve” (Mark 10:45), and He washed His disciples’ feet (John 13). Husbandly love leads through humble service, not entitlement.- Serve without grumbling.
- Take initiative in the home.
- Share burdens and responsibilities.
- Honor her as a fellow heir of grace (1 Peter 3:7).
3) Christlike Love Pursues Her Spiritual Good
Ephesians 5:26–27 shows that Christ loves the church with sanctifying purpose. Husbands are called to pursue their wife’s spiritual flourishing—not by controlling, but by leading toward Christ.- Pray with and for your wife.
- Encourage her with the Word of God.
- Guard your home from sin and spiritual drift.
- Lead with tenderness, clarity, and conviction.
4) Christlike Love Is Faithful and Enduring
Christ never abandons His bride. He does not grow tired, walk away, or break covenant. Husbands reflect Christ by remaining steadfast—keeping covenant promises, staying gentle in conflict, forgiving quickly, and persevering in love.- Stay present and engaged, especially when it is hard.
- Be quick to forgive and slow to escalate conflict.
- Keep your vows with joyful seriousness.
Practical Encouragement
Husbands: You do not love in your own strength. You love in the strength that God supplies. Ask the Lord to make you more like Christ in the way you love your wife.Wives: Encourage your husbands. Pray for them. Honor their efforts to lead even when they do so imperfectly. Christ is the model, and Christ is the One who empowers.Takeaways and Reflection Questions
- Where do you see culture shaping your expectations for marriage more than Scripture?
- Which of the four marks—sacrifice, service, spiritual leadership, faithfulness—needs the most growth right now?
- What is one concrete way you can pursue your spouse’s spiritual good this week?
- How does the gospel motivate and empower Christlike love in the home?
Call to Action
Thank you for listening to today’s episode of Contending for the Word Q&A. If this episode helped you, please consider subscribing wherever you get your podcasts and on YouTube.For more from Contending for the Word Q&A please visit our page at Servants of Grace or at our YouTube.
Dave Jenkins is happily married to his wife, Sarah. He is a writer, editor, and speaker living in beautiful Southern Oregon. Dave is a lover of Christ, His people, the Church, and sound theology. He serves as the Executive Director of Servants of Grace Ministries, the Executive Editor of Theology for Life Magazine, the Host and Producer of Equipping You in Grace Podcast, and is a contributor to and producer of Contending for the Word. He is the author of The Word Explored: The Problem of Biblical Illiteracy and What To Do About It (House to House, 2021), The Word Matters: Defending Biblical Authority Against the Spirit of the Age (G3 Press, 2022), and Contentment: The Journey of a Lifetime (Theology for Life, 2024). You can find him on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Youtube, or read his newsletter. Dave loves to spend time with his wife, going to movies, eating at a nice restaurant, or going out for a round of golf with a good friend. He is also a voracious reader, in particular of Reformed theology, and the Puritans. You will often find him when he’s not busy with ministry reading a pile of the latest books from a wide variety of Christian publishers. Dave received his M.A.R. and M.Div through Liberty Baptist Theological Seminary.
