We had been on holiday so had missed going to our church that week. In our bedtime prayers, we prayed for our church family at home, which surprised my daughter as while she knew that family were the people related to her, but she didn’t know that church is also a family, the family of God.
This bedtime conversation got me wondering about what else our children know, or don’t know, about church. Although we’re endeavoring to teach them about Jesus, and they go to church every week, what do they actually understand about church and why we go? Have I assumed they understand about the place that is such an important part of our lives or do they see church as just another weekly activity no different to music lessons or football training?
Thankfully it’s not too late to help them understand why church is a priority. Our children may not simply absorb the reasons why we to church, but God can use us to teach them of its importance from His Word. We pray our children will always want to go to church and eventually take their children too. Teaching children about why we go to church, especially when many of their friends may not go, is crucial.
Teach Them the Importance of the Church
If we asked our children why we go to church we would likely get a variety of answers, many of which would be correct. There are a range of reasons why we go to church including to hear God’s word taught, grow in faith and to encourage, and be encouraged by other Christians. Describing each reason individually to children can help them understand the importance of each aspect. Discussing the different elements of the service can also aid in their understanding and engagement each Sunday. Hebrews 10:25 instructs us to go, and God is there with us when we meet (Matthew 18:20). Reading these passages, as well as the book of Acts, can help them learn about the early church and that our church is a continuation of this many hundreds of years later.
It’s easy to take children to church without much discussion about it during the week but talking about it at home can help them grasp how essential it is. Talking as a family about what we learnt and are applying from the sermon and what they are hearing in their children’s classes helps to place correct value on each. We can express how the church is different to everything else we do all week as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25-27) and we want them to love it too.
Church Is the Family of God
That bedtime conversation with my daughter showed my husband and I the need to elaborate on the church as family. Ephesians 2:19 describes us as fellow citizens with God’s people and members of His household. This includes our children, not just those of us who are old enough to have formally joined the church. We can highlight that church is our family and that they are part of that too. Our church family welcomes our children individually, remembers what is going on in their lives and asks them about it on subsequent Sundays. They pray for and with them, notice and thank them when they have helped out at church and have not minded when they were young, noisy and wouldn’t sit still. My children have been helped for months due to generous donations of clothes and they have been looked after and welcomed over for dinner when my husband was abroad with work. We can demonstrate our role in the church family too, including noticing and getting in touch with those who are absent to see if they need support and inviting fellow members over.
I’m very thankful for the many ways our church family have shown kindness to our children, and this brings even greater value when many of us don’t live near our actual families. Like many we don’t have family close by. No relatives who can pop by for an evening meal or a Sunday afternoon gathering. Thankfully though our Sundays are filled with family. Our church family. I am overwhelmed by all the ways that our church has included our children, never overlooking them but including them, never seeing them as a nuisance but valuing them, never ignoring them but talking to them personally. Despite their young ages they are treated as members of God’s family, part of the household of God and I thank each church member that has contributed to their lives. I pray that as my children get older, they will seek out and provide the same welcome to other young families too, demonstrating that all children are a wanted and vital part of the church family.
Pray and Give Thanks for the Church
Along with my children, I can take church for granted. The Bible instructs us to be thankful (Colossians 3:15) but I don’t give thanks for the church enough. It’s easy just to roll into church each week but giving thanks as a family for our church will help our children appreciate and value it. I’m very grateful for the teaching, friends, children’s activities and having people that care about us within the church. Ask our children what they would like to give God thanks for in the church, even if their reply is biscuits. The church is a blessing to us as a family and taking time to discuss all the ways we as a family have been blessed by it can be so beneficial in helping our children reflect. I still remember those adults that took an interest in me when I was a child growing up in church. I’m thankful for those that prepared and ran the children’s church and youth groups. Those who gave up precious leave from work to lead and teach us at holiday clubs and camp. I didn’t appreciate it at the time but am very thankful now. Pray together for the church and remember how we have been supported and prayed for by our church family. See it as a privilege to go each week and pray for those who can’t go. Praying for our church and the worldwide church can help give them a wider perspective on the global church and the millions of people across the world also attending each Sunday.
Commit to and Serve the Church
Make church and Sundays the best part of the week. When it is a special and different day, the whole family can look forward to it together. Commitment and regular attendance at church is vital at all ages, but especially for children who are in their formative years so not missing weeks without a good reason is essential. There can be numerous, and many understandable, reasons not to go to church with children, but as they get older, they are likely to work out if we’re half-hearted in our church attendance and involvement. They may also think it’s acceptable to be noncommittal, but the more church services we miss, the harder it can be to go again.
Find a biblically ground and biblically shaped local church to commit to and enjoy going to other congregations (that was rooted, grounded, and practice the Word) when on holiday. A holiday is not a break from church but an opportunity to worship with another congregation before reuniting again with our own church. 1 Corinthians 12 describes how the church is the body of Christ. Our children are part of the body of Christ too and they also have a role to play. As a family serves each other, so should the church family. Our children will watch us serve the church and they can get involved in serving too. Romans 12:4-8 outlines different gifts that members of the Body have. Children have gifts too and can serve alongside us as we welcome on the door, hand out refreshments, play in the band or assist with church clean-up days. Each member, including children, belongs to the other members of the body (Romans 12:5) and although they may not feel they have anything to contribute because of their age, let them know that they’re missed when they’re not there and that they have an important role to play (Ephesians 4:16). Welcome and encourage their contributions.
It’s easy to assume that children know why we do what we do, including going to church. However, it’s essential that they know that church is the family of God, the Body of Christ and a gathering of saints and that they are a valuable part of the church community.
By placing the correct value on the church, and as they understand why we go, we pray that they will want to do the same all of their lives. We pray our children will want to go to church, love to go to church and always go to church.
Lois McCrea is originally from the UK and now lives in Dublin, Ireland with her husband Ramsey and their 3 children. They are members of Howth and Malahide Presbyterian Church.