Pornography is an epidemic, not only among the average layperson, but also among pastors. According to Barna Research, more than 50% of pastors regularly view porn.[i] Studies from Barna Research and Covenant Eyes tell us that 93% of pastors see porn as a problem in the church, but only 7% have a plan for how to deal with it. Having personally had the Lord address the issue of enslavement to pornography in my own life in 2005, and by God’s grace having victory over it, I offer this article as a practical and brief guide to help other men as they deal with their enslavement (or assist others enslaved) to pornography.

When a man shares about his struggle with pornography with me, my response begins with asking three questions:

1. 1. “How are you truly doing with your Bible reading and prayer?”
   2. “How are you and your spouse doing?”
   3. “Do you have any relational issues in your marriage or with others?”

Over the years, I’ve come to realize that, sadly, most of these men are struggling in every area previously mentioned. After hearing their responses, we begin developing a plan to strengthen them in these areas of neglect by considering: 1) the means of grace (e.g., prayer and daily Scripture reading), (2) pursuing practical purity, (3) intentionality and transparency, and (4) pursuing biblical counseling.

Prioritizing the Means of Grace

When I ask men the question, “How are you truly doing with your Bible reading and prayer?” The answer I usually get is, “Not well.” When I ask further probing questions, the answers I typically hear include some variation of, “I don’t have time.”

While these responses are typical, they require a gentle rebuke and course correction. This is why I then follow up with the question, “Do you have time to drink water, eat food, watch television, or keep up with your favorite sports team, and/or hobbies?” Without fail, the answer is always, “Yes.” I ask them, “Do you drive to work?” Depending on their answer, we may chat about a plan to read or listen to the Bible as they get ready for work or as they are driving. The goal here is to get them in the Bible starting with five minutes of listening to the Bible on their preferred Bible app, followed by five minutes in prayer.

We see a pattern for availing oneself of the means of grace in Psalm 1:2, where the Psalmist commits to regularly meditating on God’s Word. Likewise, in 1 Thessalonians 5:17, the Christian is called to pray without ceasing. And in 1 Timothy 4:7-8, we see that God’s people are to discipline themselves for the sake of godliness.

Pursuing Practical Purity

Pursuing practical purity requires seeing our sin and seeing the Lord clearly as revealed in the Word (Luke 15:17). When a person begins to truly hate their sin, the result is turning away from sin and returning to the Lord with all one’s heart (Joel 2:12). This turning from sin implies a notable change, “performing deeds in keeping with their repentance” (Acts 26:20). The goal of repentance is not to manufacture peace among others with perfunctory repentance, but rather to turn to God wholly and completely. This repentance most importantly is not just a turning away from sin, but necessarily involves a turning in “repentance toward God and of faith in our Lord Jesus Christ” (Acts 20:21).

Encouraging Transparency

In addition to pursuing practical purity, one of the keys to fighting sexual sin (any kind of sin) is to have not only a plan of attack but to keep things out in the open. There is nothing secret before the Lord and nothing hidden from His gaze. This means we should keep our laptops, phones, tablets, or any device out in the open to encourage transparency and discourage any hint of sinful behavior.

Pastor or ministry leader, one way to encourage transparency is how you set up your office. I have my desk not facing away from the door, but facing open to the door (which allows my monitors to face the door). Since I have a home office, I also keep the door open (unless I’m in a video meeting or creating a recording) so that if my wife walks downstairs she can see what I’m doing. At night, I keep my phone on my nightstand charging. The key here is intentionality in your transparency.

Pursue Biblical Counseling

At this time, I want to recognize that not every single ministry leader or pastor who is enslaved to sexual sin is ready to admit their enslavement. My own story of enslavement to sexual sin began in 2001, but I finally found freedom from it several years later. It was in 2001 that I first admitted to a pastor (or anyone for that matter) that I was enslaved to pornography. This pastor and I were walking out of the door of the cafeteria at the community college in northern Washington where I attended, when I suddenly told him, “I have something to tell you.” It was then that I blurted out, “I’m enslaved to pornography.”

At the time his response didn’t feel helpful to me, but it was. He said, “You need to step away from ministry.” But I wasn’t ready for help. It would take three more years before I was ready to repent biblically and receive help.

One of the most helpful ministries for those enslaved to sexual sin is that of biblical counseling. In a discussion with Dr. Dale Johnson and Dr. Sam Stephens of the Association of Biblical Counselors, one of the ways they define biblical counseling is as “the personal discipleship ministry of God’s people to others under the oversight of God’s church, dependent upon the authority and sufficiency of God’s Word through the work of the Holy Spirit.”[ii]

Biblical counseling is like turning on the light in a dark room. Sharing our enslavement to sexual sin can help us come out of the darkness of guilt and shame and step into the light where God’s forgiveness resides because of Christ (1 John 1:9). Taking that first step in confessing our sin to one another is admitting that you need the Lord’s help and others’ help. Biblical counselors walk alongside you with the help of the Lord (Galatians 6:1-2). They can help you to address the patterns of your choices that got you to where you are now, in addition to helping you with strategies to help you fight your sin.

No matter where you are in your fight against sexual sin today, the Lord can help you. Romans 8:1 tells us that because of our union with Christ, there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. John Calvin once said that repentance is not the start of the Christian life, it is the Christian life. By prioritizing the means of grace, pursuing practical purity, encouraging transparency, and biblical counseling, pastor or ministry leader you can continue to grow yourself in Christ and thus be an effective servant, fit to continue to be used by our Master. 

References

[i] https://www.barna.com/research/porn-in-the-digital-age-new-research-reveals-10-trends/

[ii] https://biblicalcounseling.com/resource-library/podcast-episodes/the-nature-of-biblical-counseling/