Melissa Holmquist, one of our quarterly contributors, recently published a book, Biblical Modesty in a Post-Christian World. The following is an interview with her about her new book.

Dave: Please tell us about your life, marriage, ministry, and a little bit about what the Lord has you doing these days, Melissa?

Melissa: My name is Melissa Holmquist and I am a pastor’s wife in Mid-Michigan, really in the best of both worlds where the countryside runs parallel with the city. I was born and raised in the Pacific Northwest in a dedicated Christian family. After I was married, my family and I moved to Rio de Janeiro, Brazil as missionaries. We ministered in Brazil for 7.5 years. (Actually my book is currently being translated into Portuguese.) We relocated back to Michigan where my husband, Dr. Brendan Holmquist, has been lead Pastor of Grove Bible Church since 2015. We have four children, including a married daughter and three teenagers at home. We have three Angel babies in heaven. I enjoy homeschooling, serve on the board of Bella Women’s Center, and am Troop Coordinator for American Heritage Girls Troop MI-1228.

Dave: Melissa, what was the inspiration for writing your book?

Melissa: In the fall of 2018 I was attending a Christian ladies retreat in northern Michigan. The weather was unusually warm (90’s) and most women wore spandex workout clothing the whole weekend. On the last day of the retreat, my friend who was appropriately dressed was in the dining hall when the camp director approached her and made the following comment, “It’s nice to see some women still have some dignity.” His words and the apparel of the women haunted me. I couldn’t shake it. I wrote an article, “A Call to Modesty Among Christian Women”. I sent it to twenty Christian publications/blogs. No one would publish it. It was you Dave who was willing to take a chance on me! It went viral. After some time you (Dave) reached out to me and suggested I pray and talk to my husband about the possibility of writing a book on the subject. After giving credit to God, credit goes to you for the publishing of this book!

Dave: Melissa, please tell us who is the target audience of your book?

Melissa: There are quite a few books written on modesty. Many seem to be written by very conservative authors geared toward the very conservative sector of Christianity. Many include lengthy historical sections or diagrams, pictures, or lists. I wanted to see something geared toward the average Christian woman who either has not heard of modesty or thinks it doesn’t apply to her because it is legalistic and outdated. I also wanted to reach out to our current college/young adult generation. They are the ones really feeling the brunt of previous modesty movements that were built on legalism and judgment. They were raised in homes either fleeing anything to do with the movement or wholeheartedly embracing it but in an unbiblical manner. I wanted to separate the emotions, past experiences, and legalism from the issue of modesty and just look at it from a strictly biblical perspective. 

Dave: Melissa, please tell us why the Church should care about modesty today?

Melissa: That’s a really good question Dave and I see this as a two part answer simply because I see churches having one of two reactions to modesty. In a certain sector of churches modesty is really mandated and enforced (sometimes heavily) without explanation as to why this is important and why it matters. I have watched girls and women from these types of churches wear what is expected of them to church or to the Christian school but then out and about in the community look completely different, often very immodest. It grieves me to see this because I think they just don’t understand what modesty is and they see it as a rule to follow to get them in the door of the church. On the other hand we have churches that have swung fully in the opposite direction and never say anything about modesty. The Church should care about modesty because it is a believer’s outward appearance, what we say, where we go, that shows the unbelieving world Who we belong to. If there is nothing different about the way we dress, how we talk, or where we go for entertainment perhaps we need to examine our hearts and consider how we are impacting our sphere of influence for Jesus Christ. 

Dave: Melissa, how can ladies in local churches encourage one another to modesty?

Melissa: This is a tough question Dave just because there can be so much judgment amongst women in general over a variety of issues especially modesty. It is a fine line to encourage modesty without coming across as holier than thou or looking down your nose at someone who you think is not modest. I think that number one relationship is key. If you don’t have a relationship with that woman and your main interaction is to “encourage” her toward modesty, it probably will not go well. It is interesting to talk with a variety of women who consider themselves modest but dress very differently from one another. I have discovered that everyone has a standard whether we think they do or not. Everyone has a line they will not cross. Honestly I believe we can rely on the Holy Spirit to do the actual changing in a person when it comes to modesty. 

The best encouragement is to pray that God will open each woman’s eyes to the truth about modesty, including our own. Trust the Holy Spirit to open doors for you to talk about the subject if it comes up. Forcing the issue will never go well. The deeper relationship a woman develops with her Savior and the more she reads her Bible the more she will understand the importance of modesty for herself. 

Encouraging biblical literacy among the women at your church will go far in championing the cause of modesty. The more we love Jesus the more we want to please Him and live our lives for Him. Wait for the right moment (God’s timing) to actually address the subject and go into it with much prayer. Asking questions to find out where the other woman stands on the issue will go far in creating a level playing field so to speak and will help you not come across as accusatory. Everyone has their “modesty story” and the way they live is out of that experience. We need to be kind and understanding when presenting God’s truth on the matter. 

Dave: Do you have any last thoughts you’d like to share with us, Melissa?

Melissa: Thank you Dave for the opportunity and again, thank you for taking the chance on me as a fledgling, unknown writer and encouraging me to write this book. I can honestly say it was such a God ordained experience. With the many roles I fulfill my time is limited but in those moments I had each day to write, the words just flowed out of my fingertips in a way that only God could have orchestrated!

Dave: Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us Melissa!