Marriage, Roles, and the Glory of Christ

Series: Love, Marriage, and Singleness
Author: Charlie Handren

The Christian life is a life of worship. It’s a life focused on God and lived for the glory of God in Christ. Therefore, Paul tells us in Ephesians 5:18–21 not to be drunk with wine but rather to be filled with the Spirit who will teach us to speak in the words of Psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, to sing and make melody to the Lord in our hearts, to give thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of Jesus, and to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. This is the Christian life and it is a life of worship.

Further, the Lord has designed this general way of life to be expressed in specific ways in various contexts, the first of which is marriage. And while the Lord does call wives and husbands to specific things, it’s of paramount importance that we not miss the point: each of us is given a part to play for the glory of Christ and the joy of our souls. Indeed, as Paul writes at the end of this section, “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church” (Ephesians 5:32). In other words, ultimately marriage is not about itself but about the glory of what God has accomplished in Christ.

This truth ought to elevate our vision of marriage and shape how we read Ephesians 5:22–33. Let’s keep this truth close to our hearts and begin where Paul begins.

Wives, Submit to Your Own Husbands

“Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands” (Ephesians 5:22–24).

These are strong but important words. Several clarifications help us understand them rightly.

First, the Greek word for “submit” means to subordinate or subject one person or role to another. It does not imply inferiority in worth, intelligence, gifting, or standing before Christ. Rather, it speaks to role and order. The biblical principle is this: husbands and wives are equal in being but distinct in roles. The wife is given the privilege of reflecting the church’s posture toward Christ.

Second, Paul tells wives to submit to their “own husbands.” Scripture is not calling all women to submit to all men, but each married woman to her own husband within the covenant of marriage. Mutual humility is commanded of all believers, but marital submission is covenant-specific.

Third, this submission is grounded in God’s design of headship. “As to the Lord” does not mean a husband replaces Christ or is obeyed as Christ. It means the wife’s submission is an act of obedience to Christ. It is to be offered with humility, respect, willingness, and reverence for the Lord — never coerced, never forced.

The husband’s headship extends across the spheres of life in the marriage, but it must always be exercised under Christ’s authority and in Christlike character.

Fourth, the grammar Paul uses carries the sense of willing submission. This is heart-level obedience to Christ, not external compliance under pressure. Husbands are never permitted to force submission through manipulation, intimidation, Scripture-twisting, or abuse. Biblical submission must be freely given as worship to Christ.

Wives are ultimately being called to trust Christ — His wisdom, His purposes, and His design — and to honor Him through their role in marriage.

Husbands, Love Your Wives

Paul then turns to husbands with an equally weighty command: “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25).

The word used here for love is agape — the highest form of love in Greek thought — marked by loyal, sacrificial, steadfast devotion. Husbands are called to love their wives with Christlike affection and covenantal loyalty.

Christ demonstrated this love by laying down His life for the church. He used His authority and power for the good of His people and the glory of God. In the same way, husbands are called to exercise leadership through sacrifice, service, and self-giving love.

When a husband puts Christ first and loves his wife as an act of worship, his affection and loyalty deepen. Christ-centered love produces a marriage marked by trust, joy, and willing cooperation.

Scripture calls husbands to imitate Christ — to walk in love, to give themselves up in service, and to lead with humility and devotion to God.

Marriage Is About the Glory of Christ

As we consider Ephesians 5:22–33, we must not lose sight of the central truth: marriage ultimately points beyond itself. “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church” (Ephesians 5:32).

Marriage is a visible display of the gospel. It is meant to show something true about Christ and His redeemed people. Therefore, husbands and wives are called to fix their eyes on Christ, worship Him, and live out their distinct roles for the glory of His name and the joy of their souls.

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