Men today are taught through our contemporary culture to either be macho, or to not display their strength, and instead, be weak. The end result of both approaches will lead men to apathy. On the one hand, a man who is super macho will tend towards being a prideful man, instead of a humble man. The man who never shows his strength and is instead weak will tend towards apathy. Instead of focusing on how strong one is, whether that is physical, mental, emotionally, or intellectually, the man of God is most concerned about the person and work of Jesus. [bctt tweet=”The man of God derives his identity and worth from what God says about him in His Word.” username=”servantsofgrace”]
Real Men Love Jesus
Men, whether you are single or married you must first be in love with Jesus. Christian single guys if you want to find a wife who is worth your time then you will need to hide your heart in Christ. Paul says in Colossians 3:3 that now your life is hidden with Christ in God. Since God has taken your heart of stone and replaced it with a new heart, with new desires, and affections for Himself, now you are to put off your former way of life and put on the Lord Jesus (Colossians 3:1-15). You and I are no longer our own, which means living, however, we want to is contrary to our profession of faith (Romans 6:1).
Instead of guarding our hearts with all due diligence (Proverbs 4:23) many men give their hearts away too easily. I remember my single years very well and being guilty of giving away my heart to easily. I also remember the heartache this caused even though I’ve been married almost ten years now.
Recently I’ve been talking with several single guys and encouraging them to find their identity and worth in Christ alone. As I’ve done this they’ve told me how hard this is. They are inundated all around them with all sorts of images, videos, and by the way, many women dress to “impress” them. Christian single dude, the more you are growing in your relationship with the Lord, the more you are likely to attract that special woman of God you so desire. You’ll also attract other girls who will be attracted to you because there is something different about you (in a good way) because of the Gospel. This is why you must guard your heart with all due diligence
When I say, “Hide your heart in Christ” what I’m talking about here is you growing in the Lord. I’m not talking about you being introspective about your sin because chances are you already do that. Instead, I’m talking about you finding your identity, worth, and value in the Lord over and against what the culture says about you. Our culture does not define you. Instead, Christ is to define and give your life, meaning, value, and purpose. When you get to know that special lady who loves Jesus, you, and the church, and when she peers deep into your life wondering if you are “the guy” for her, she should see Christ. She should see a man intimately walking and experiencing the Lord in his daily life.
Biblical Manhood a Life of Strength and Weakness in Christ
[bctt tweet=”Biblical manhood is a life of strength and weakness in Christ.” username=”servantsofgrace”] Christ is all. We do not live for ourselves or our own pleasure and enjoyment, nor do we work just to work. Instead in our enjoyment and in our work we do it all to the glory of God (1 Cor. 10:31).
How we deal with others is a reflection of how we see ourselves. As Christians, we should see ourselves as God does as adopted sons through Christ. The Apostle Paul was a man of great intellectual gifts and abilities. Before Paul became a great man of God, he was known as Saul. During this time in his life, Acts 8:1 says, “And Saul approved of his execution.” Acts 9 tells us that Saul had a dramatic encounter with the resurrected Christ and his life was transformed. Paul formerly lived in his own strength but now his strength was regulated by Christ. Now his strength was displayed in weakness because of Christ (2 Corinthians 12:9).
The counter-cultural logic of the Gospel challenges us. We who have been Christians a long time are so comfortable with the Gospel that we often miss it for ourselves, or at worst we assume it. We walk in our own strength and think, “All is well” when truthfully the red flags are waving in the wind telling us danger is lurking ahead. We are in a war and in war casualties occur. As Christians, we rest not on our laurels or on our own achievements. Instead, we rest our lives in the sovereign, capable hands of Christ.
Biblical Manhood is Worth It
Single guys, it’s worth it to take your time to find that special lady. Don’t settle for just another lady. Instead, pursue Christ with all you are. Grow in your walk with God and commit to being under qualified godly men and to using your gifts in the context of your local church.
Married men, love your wives. You say you love God and that’s great. Now everyone around you is wanting to see your love for God in action. It’s one thing to say you are doing well at this but truthfully I wonder, “How are we really doing?” If you are anything like me you will answer that question negatively. I often fail to love my wife well either with my words and or my actions. I have much room to grow in these things. Thankfully through the work of the Holy Spirit and the help of seasoned men, I am slowly growing in these areas of my own life.
Men, wherever you are in your walk with the Lord, we all have Gospel work to do. The Gospel of God that saved you, is sanctifying you, and one day will one day glorify you. We live in between the times of our Lord’s imminent return, which means you and I need to continue to repent of our indwelling sin, and wrestle against the world, the flesh, and the devil. [bctt tweet=”Our lives as men of God should be defined by the sufficiency of Christ.” username=”servantsofgrace”] It is in Christ that you and I will increasingly display humble, servant, and transparent leadership as we endeavor to glorify our Lord in every aspect of our lives.
Dave Jenkins is happily married to his wife, Sarah. He is a writer, editor, and speaker living in beautiful Southern Oregon. Dave is a lover of Christ, His people, the Church, and sound theology. He serves as the Executive Director of Servants of Grace Ministries, the Executive Editor of Theology for Life Magazine, the Host and Producer of Equipping You in Grace Podcast, and is a contributor to and producer of Contending for the Word. He is the author of The Word Explored: The Problem of Biblical Illiteracy and What To Do About It (House to House, 2021), The Word Matters: Defending Biblical Authority Against the Spirit of the Age (G3 Press, 2022), and Contentment: The Journey of a Lifetime (Theology for Life, 2024). You can find him on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Youtube, or read his newsletter. Dave loves to spend time with his wife, going to movies, eating at a nice restaurant, or going out for a round of golf with a good friend. He is also a voracious reader, in particular of Reformed theology, and the Puritans. You will often find him when he’s not busy with ministry reading a pile of the latest books from a wide variety of Christian publishers. Dave received his M.A.R. and M.Div through Liberty Baptist Theological Seminary.