Wives Respecting Their Husbands: God’s Design for Marriage (Ephesians 5:33)

Show Summary

What does Scripture mean when it calls wives to respect their husbands? In this episode of Contending for the Word Q&A, Dave Jenkins continues our series on God’s design for marriage by unpacking Ephesians 5:33. Biblical respect is not rooted in cultural stereotypes, fear, or performance-based expectations, but in a Christ-centered posture of worship, trust, and grace. You’ll hear how respect honors God’s design without requiring silence or blind agreement, and how the Lord uses this calling to strengthen unity, build trust, and reflect the church’s response to Christ.

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Key Scriptures

• Ephesians 5:33
• Ephesians 5:22
• Proverbs 31:26
• Genesis 2:18

Episode Notes

• Respect is rooted in Christ, not perfection: God calls wives to a heart posture shaped by the gospel, not by performance-based conditions.
• Respect honors God’s design: Biblical respect affirms a husband’s God-given responsibility and leadership without pretending he is always right.
• Respect is communicated with grace: Tone, timing, patience, and gentleness matter—respect speaks honestly but wisely.
• Respect partners in unity: A wife is a wise helper and strong partner, coming alongside to strengthen her husband through godly influence.
• Respect is worshipful trust: A wife’s respect ultimately flows from trusting Christ and relying on the Spirit, not from confidence in human perfection.
• Pastoral word to husbands: Do not weaponize Scripture. Lead with Christlike love so that respect becomes joyful, not forced.

Full Article

In a culture that often misunderstands or distorts biblical marriage, Scripture offers clarity and beauty. In Ephesians 5:33, the apostle Paul summarizes the responsibilities of both husband and wife: “Let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” This calling is not an add-on or a footnote—it is part of God’s wise design that reflects the relationship between Christ and His church.

1) Respect means honoring his God-given role

Biblical respect is not blind agreement, silence, or pretending your husband is always right. It is a disposition of honor that recognizes the weight of responsibility God has placed on him. Respect affirms his calling to lead and serve the family and encourages him toward faithfulness. This kind of respect does not excuse sin or ignore concerns—it honors God’s design while remembering that only Christ is perfect.

2) Respect means speaking with grace and wisdom

Scripture highlights the power of wise and gracious speech. Proverbs 31:26 says, “She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” Respect shows itself in tone, timing, patience, and gentleness. It does not mean withholding concerns, but it does mean expressing them with grace. God often uses a wife’s wise words to strengthen her husband and promote peace and unity in the home.

3) Respect means coming alongside as a wise partner

In Genesis 2:18, the wife is described as a “helper fit for him.” This word “helper” is even used of God Himself, showing it is not a position of weakness but of strength. Respect includes partnering, collaborating, advising, and supporting your husband as you pursue unity together. A wife’s godly influence is one of the means God uses to grow and mature her husband for the good of the marriage and the glory of Christ.

4) Respect means trusting Christ above all

The foundation for biblical respect is not the husband’s perfection but Christ’s lordship. The call to live “as to the Lord” (see Ephesians 5:22) reminds us that respect and submission are first acts of worship. A wife respects her husband because she trusts Christ, believes God works through imperfect people, and relies on the Holy Spirit for patience and grace. This is not blind allegiance—it is worshipful trust in the Lord who never fails.

Takeaways and Reflection Questions

• Do I view respect as a Christ-centered calling or as something only earned by performance?
• How can I grow in communicating concerns with grace, wisdom, and kindness?
• In what ways can I come alongside my spouse as a faithful partner pursuing unity?
• Where do I need to trust Christ more deeply in the challenges of marriage?
• Husbands: Am I leading with Christlike love in a way that invites joyful respect?

Call to Action

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