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Speaking the Truth in Love | Contending for the Word Q&A
Show: Contending for the Word Q&A with Dave Jenkins
Host: Dave Jenkins
Show Summary
In this episode of Contending for the Word Q&A, Dave Jenkins considers what it really means to
speak the truth in love from Ephesians 4:15. Some people use the word love to avoid hard truths. Others use
truth as a license to be harsh. Scripture calls Christians to something better, a distinctly Christian way of
speaking that reflects both the holiness and the kindness of God.
Dave explains how speaking the truth in love means being faithful to the Word of God, having a Christlike tone,
seeking the other person’s eternal good, and being willing to be misunderstood for the sake of Christ.
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Key Scriptures
- Ephesians 4:15 (ESV) – “Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into
him who is the head, into Christ.” - 2 Timothy 2:24–25 (ESV) – “And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone,
able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness…”
Episode Highlights
- Why “speaking the truth in love” is often quoted but rarely applied with care.
- How real love refuses to edit or soften the Word of God in order to avoid conflict.
- Why tone, posture, and patience matter when we bring correction or truth to others.
- The danger of winning arguments while losing hearts and relationships.
- How faithfulness sometimes means being misunderstood, even when we speak gently.
Full Episode Article
Many Christians know the phrase “speak the truth in love,” yet few think deeply about what it means. In a world
that often resists Christ, the church is called to be a faithful witness. That includes the way we use our words.
Some invoke love as a reason to stay silent or to avoid hard topics. Others treat truth as a weapon and use it in
a way that crushes rather than builds up. Scripture holds together both truth and love.
Ephesians 4:15 calls believers to “speak the truth in love” so that we “grow up in every way into him who is the
head, into Christ.” In context, Paul is talking about the church growing in maturity, protected from false
teaching, united around Christ, and built up in love. Truth and love are both necessary. Truth guards us from
deception. Love guards us from pride.
1. Faithful to the Word of God
To speak the truth in love, we must first be faithful to what God has actually said in His Word. We cannot speak
truth in love if what we share is not biblical. Love does not edit God. Love brings God’s Word to bear as He gave
it. That means we do not soften God’s commands to make them more acceptable, we do not delete parts of Scripture
that confront our culture, and we do not twist texts to support our preferences.
Real love refuses to lie about sin, holiness, judgment, or the exclusivity of Christ, because eternity is at
stake. To speak the truth in love is to bring God’s Word with faithful accuracy and clarity.
2. Christlike Tone and Posture
We can say the right words in the wrong way. Speaking the truth in love means our tone reflects the heart of
Christ. Love shapes our facial expressions, our body language, our volume, our timing, and our willingness to
listen. When we speak, the goal is not to crush people, embarrass them, or win a debate at their expense.
Second Timothy 2:24–25 gives a pattern for the Lord’s servant, who must not be quarrelsome, but kind to everyone,
able to teach, patiently enduring evil, and correcting opponents with gentleness. Truth remains firm, yet love
shapes how that truth is delivered.
3. Seeking the Other Person’s Good
Speaking the truth in love also means that our goal is the eternal good of the other person, not our own ego.
Love asks, “What will help them see Christ more clearly? What will serve their soul? How can I point them to
repentance and faith, not just prove that they are wrong?”
We can win an argument and lose the person. We can be right on paper and wrong in posture. Love aims not only to
expose error, but to call people to Christ. It does not simply point out sin, it points to the Savior who alone
can forgive and restore.
4. Willing to Be Misunderstood for Christ’s Sake
Finally, speaking the truth in love means being willing to be misunderstood for the sake of Christ. Even when we
are faithful and gentle, some will still reject what we say. Jesus was full of grace and truth, and yet He was
opposed. Love does not guarantee that everyone will feel loved. Truth does not guarantee that everyone will agree.
We may be labeled unloving when we are simply being biblical, or accused of compromise when we are being patient.
Faithfulness means entrusting our reputation to Christ. We speak His truth and love people, even when they do not
receive us well.
To speak the truth in love is to use our words to bring God’s truth to the hearts of others with compassion,
patience, and the boldness of Christ Himself. We are faithful to God’s Word, we aim for a Christlike tone, we seek
the eternal good of those in front of us, and we are willing to be misunderstood for the sake of the Lord.
Takeaways and Reflection Questions
- Where are you tempted to soften or edit God’s Word in the name of love?
- How does your tone, body language, and timing reflect the patience of Christ?
- When you correct someone, is your goal to win, or to serve their soul and point them to Christ?
- Are you willing to be misunderstood or rejected if that means remaining faithful to Scripture?
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Dave Jenkins is happily married to his wife, Sarah. He is a writer, editor, and speaker living in beautiful Southern Oregon. Dave is a lover of Christ, His people, the Church, and sound theology. He serves as the Executive Director of Servants of Grace Ministries, the Executive Editor of Theology for Life Magazine, the Host and Producer of Equipping You in Grace Podcast, and is a contributor to and producer of Contending for the Word. He is the author of The Word Explored: The Problem of Biblical Illiteracy and What To Do About It (House to House, 2021), The Word Matters: Defending Biblical Authority Against the Spirit of the Age (G3 Press, 2022), and Contentment: The Journey of a Lifetime (Theology for Life, 2024). You can find him on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Youtube, or read his newsletter. Dave loves to spend time with his wife, going to movies, eating at a nice restaurant, or going out for a round of golf with a good friend. He is also a voracious reader, in particular of Reformed theology, and the Puritans. You will often find him when he’s not busy with ministry reading a pile of the latest books from a wide variety of Christian publishers. Dave received his M.A.R. and M.Div through Liberty Baptist Theological Seminary.




