The answer to prayer is sometimes quick and clear but other times the answer is drawn out or is silent. But there are also those times when it is clear that the answer to a prayer is “no.” The door we expected to open is obviously and clearly shut. How a person responds to a “no” answer says a lot about their spiritual maturity and whether or not the foundation of their faith is rooted in trusting the Lord and His Word.
Regardless of how spiritually mature we are, we’re all vulnerable to our self-centered, sinful nature and can all slip into a typical, emotional response, for a time. Paul speaks about the battle between our sinful desires and sanctification through the power of Christ in our lives. To the Romans, he writes, “For that which I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate” (Romans 7:15, NASB). When we do not like the answer, we might be inclined toward bitterness and a hardened heart toward God. “Take care, brethren, lest there should be in any one of you an evil, unbelieving heart, in falling away from the living God” (Hebrews 3:12). The typical emotional responses mentioned in the Bible are those that can lead to ungodly reactions and decisions if not controlled. Some of these reactions and responses include impatience (Proverbs 14:29), worry (Philippians 4:6-7), anxiety (Matthew 6:34), discouragement and disappointment (Psalm 42:5-6), and anger (James 1:19), all of which can lead to a depressed, sad, and reclusive mood or state of mind (Proverbs 12:25).
In our emotional state of disappointment, our tendency may be at first to question God. David asked God, “How long, O Lord?” (Psalm 13:1). This active, interrogative statement addressed to God could be interpreted as reflecting a lack of faith and impatience in an omnipotent, sovereign God. Whatever our ordeal, it can become painful and tiring to wait on the Lord for answers to our prayers. However, if we don’t get control of our emotional reaction, our mind and heart will try to make sense of the negative response using human wisdom which is foolishness to God (1 Corinthians 3:19). Our faith in an omniscient God who knows us and what is good for us can become tested and weakened. Our trust in God may begin to wane, we may become resentful toward God, and begin to lose hope that He will answer in a way that we believe shows His love for us.
When the disappointment, resentment, and decreased trust in God come full circle, in the most extreme reaction, we will begin to seek unwise counsel, seek answers from non-biblical sources, stop reading the Word, stop praying, quit attending church, give up, turn to worldly interests, and start verbalizing our lack of faith and rejection of God. What began as an uncontrolled, emotional reaction can turn into a downward spiral, revealing our lack of faith and belief in a God who loves us and has provided saving grace through Jesus Christ. “For even though they knew God, they did not honor Him as God, or give thanks; but they became futile in their speculations, and their foolish heart was darkened” (Romans 1:21).
Every day, we face trials and decisions. We petition God and hope to receive a favorable answer or guidance to resolve the situation. If our faith is strong in our God and in His Word, there is less chance we will have an emotional reaction from which we find it difficult to recover.
The emotional reaction to receiving a “no” answer for someone who is grounded in their faith will be more quickly one of patience, respect, honor, and gratitude for how well God has provided for them through His grace and mercy. A person who loves God and loves His Word will remain steadfast in prayer and, even while showing disappointment, he/she will remain respectful of God, acknowledging who He is and His sovereignty over his/her life. “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness” (James 1:2-3, ESV).
A person well-grounded in their faith will go to the Word for answers and rest in the promises fulfilled in the Scripture and the history of a God who is carrying out His sovereign plan in the world. “His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us to His own glory and excellence, by which He has granted to us His precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire” (2 Peter 1:3-4, ESV).
A person with a strong trust and faith in God will look at the wider picture of God’s purposes and think less about their own personal desires and needs. “They are to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share, thus storing up treasure for themselves as a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is truly life” (1 Timothy 6:18-19, ESV). Their minds will be focused on godly thoughts, and they will continue in prayer with an attitude of hope for the future, knowing God will provide the answer that is best for them. Their heart will cling to God in whom they have placed their trust. “He is not afraid of bad news; his heart is firm, trusting in the Lord” (Psalm 112:7, ESV).
When confronted with a dilemma and while looking to God for an answer, a strong believer will draw to other believers and listen as needed to wise and biblical counsel, and rest, and trust in God. “To know wisdom and instruction, to understand words of insight, to receive instruction in wise dealing, in righteousness, justice, and equity” (Proverbs 1:2-3, ESV). Instead of turning away from God’s people, they will draw to the people of the church, continue in worship, and continue attending services. Speaking of God with love, honor, and respect will be a part of their daily conversation.
The Word of God will strengthen and build patience and perseverance as they read and meditate on it daily. In the Word, they will remember the fulfilled promises and stories of God’s faithfulness. Reminders of God’s faithfulness to them will come to mind and be an encouragement. They will accept God’s answer with trust and gratitude and look to the future with expectation knowing God is in control.
Since we are inclined to be self-centered, it is our tendency to contemplate our life and future according to what we determine to be best. We battle between two natures of the flesh and of the spirit. With a strong faith in God’s sovereign will for our life, a daily focus on His Word, a remembrance of His fulfilled promises, a thankful heart for His mercy and grace through Jesus Christ, and prayerfully honoring Him in all that we do, we will tend to respond in a manner that shows respect and love for our God that loved us first.
