This article is a part of the new 30:1 Marriage Devotional series.

If there were one topic in all of this devotional series to write about, this one would perhaps be one of the top three. Hands down, as it’s enmeshed in all of the topics. There is no more of a time when we are brought into the right position and relationship with one another and with God, than in prayer. I have counseled many different couples who were in need of marriage reconciliation. I stressed their growth forward must contain unified, hand-holding, undivided prayer time.

God has uniquely and spiritually placed two people’s body into one flesh, and unified prayer is essential for a healthy marriage. Praying together is a form of communication. While it is right and we are to individually enter our prayer petitions and supplications, we also need to do this with one another; this is when we find out the heart and soul of the person—we hear their hurts, their joys, and their needs for wholeness. I know that the times when I am praying with my wife that we may have some similar requests to our heavenly Father, but then I will also notice some which are different or would not have thought about.

Praying for our spouses is one of the duties of being a good and faithful husband—we are supposed to be invested in our wife’s spiritual and emotional maturity and health. As I have stated to quarreling couples, when we come into the presence of God together, hand in hand, it is impossible to still hold onto our sins, grudges, and biases—the Holy Spirit will not allow it—or you will have to back away from the prayer time, which will convict your own heart.

I can vividly see the picture of the time when my wife and I were on our knees together in front of our sofa, weeping; we had submitted our goals, surrendered our needs and wants, and asked the Lord to show us His will and unified plan for our lives, for the Kingdom’s sake. It was such a beautiful moment and a defining one. I think most couples miss out on these times. While the husband and the wife have an individual prayer life, most do not have unified prayer time—this should not be.

There is power in unified prayer and especially within the spiritual union of two souls working and living as one flesh. Sometimes our individuality gets in the way of our unique combined DNA. Each married couple has a specific God-given DNA. This is why some couples are exact opposites, some are alike, or weird, or passionate, or any other attribute, but the bottom line is that the two individuals are knit together by God, as He creates an exclusive unified DNA. When this DNA prays to the Creator, I believe things change within a marriage. No longer is life about self, but about serving the Creator through a unified flesh.

This post first appeared at Men’s Daily Life and is posted here with permission.


• When was the last time that you held hands and prayed with your wife—besides saying the blessing before a meal?

• “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered” (1 Peter 3:7). This does not mean weaker in intellect, but in strength. It is obvious that most women have smaller frames. As husbands, we respect, protect, and honor our wives as companions in the journey through life.