When a new leader is appointed in an organization change is inevitable. The incoming boss will set policy, establish tone, and reflect an attitude in their organization. The same is true for our marriages. The new leader I am referring to here is not a new husband but rather the true husband, the Lord Jesus Christ.

We know from the Scriptures that a Christian marriage is never simply a union of two people but two people united together in Jesus Christ. This is another way of saying that Jesus is our head, the Lord and the life-giver of our marriage. When a man and a woman embrace the truth of the gospel, whether in conversion or sanctification, there are always corresponding changes associated with Jesus being the head of the marriage. Below are three of the more common changes that Christ works into a marriage as He rules it through the gospel.

1. From Selfishness to Service

Every single sin flows from the reservoir of self. We displace God and others in favor of ourselves. It is disastrous and painful. Nowhere is this inversion more glaring and hurtful than in marriage. But when the gospel comes home there are pronounced changes on this front. The irritable wife becomes patient and kind with her husband because Jesus was patient and kind with her. The self-absorbed husband finds more joy in learning about his wife’s interests than the side-story of his favorite athletes. This is because he realizes that she was made by God and for God as well as the truth that the Spirit continues to powerfully work more of Christ into her life. This is attractive and compelling in a way that home-runs and touchdowns can’t ever be. The gospel comes home and turns our hearts away from ourselves (selfishness) and towards our spouse (service).

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